I get jealous. Envy sometimes grabs hold of me and won't let go. A lot of times it is stupid little things that set me off. I go round and round in a righteous way thinking I have every right to feel this way. As I stewed last night at the "unfairness" of my life (just slight drama), Jesus gently (okay. so really He threw me up against a wall) reminded me that love does not envy. Four words that stopped me in my tracks. Oops. My love was guilty of that. I prayed for forgiveness and went to bed. I woke up and realized I asked for forgiveness, but I had failed to leave my burden at the cross. I picked it right back up and tucked those emotions onto my back. Ugh! As I was reading my Bible this morning, wouldn't you know that I was reading about Esau and Jacob. The ultimate story of jealousy. Hmm. Coincidence? I think not. So, all morning I keep reminding myself of His love. And how I want to love that way. And how can I feel jealous when, really, I am the one who puts other things in front of Jesus? As much as I felt hurt, He feels it every day because of ME. Talk about seeing a splinter when I have a whole stinkin' log. So, I am choosing this day to love without envy. My lesson of the day...one I should have already learned.
*side note: I asked forgiveness of those I was envious of and received the sweetest forgiveness just now. God is so very good to me!!!
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