I met and married the man I had prayed for all my life when I was only 18 (we met as young teens). After a year of marriage, we were ready to start our family. I had a precious baby girl in May 2001. We named her Chloe, and she was sunshine in our home. In September, I found her in her crib on the morning of the 14th, taken by Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. This was the first time my faith was rocked. I hit my knees pleading with God to revive her. He answered with a no and I buried my first child a couple weeks before I turned 21.
I was then faced with choice. I could either continue following this Christ who let my baby die or turn my back and try life alone. I had never had to make that decision on my own...my family taught me those values from the moment I was born. I didn't have a choice about attending church growing up and Jesus was always with me. That is what I remembered. He is ALWAYS with me. Even as my baby was being held by Him when I just knew in my heart that I wanted to hold her more that He did. I remember praying that He would let me hold her just one more time. I remember screaming at Him for the injustice of it all. I also remember how it felt to feel His grace and His arms and His gentle reminder that He knew exactly what I was feeling, for He too had to bury His only child. Except He also had to watch His son be tormented and murdered for something He never did. How could I turn away and not see what a powerful God I had the privilege of loving? I chose to love.
Through the healing and the tears, God blessed me with three more daughters. Gracie came almost a year after Chloe died. Her first stop from the hospital was the cemetery to "meet" her sister. She filled a hole in our lives and is such a precious gift. 2 1/2 years later, Faith arrived, bringing so much laughter with her that I felt my heart would burst, and 21 months after her, we welcomed Ellie to our family. Ellie came with so much stubborn strong will that I'm not sure what in the world we would do if we didn't have her to follow around. They are more than I dreamed of. I love being a mama (most days) and my only wish is that all of them could have really met their oldest sister.
Upon the Lord's leading, we uprooted our family to attend Southwestern Theological Baptist Seminary in 2007. Later that same year, Cameron felt the Lord calling him to the mission field. It took me a bit longer to accept this calling...and to open my ears enough to even hear it. Now, in a mere 4 months, we will begin the journey to East Asia. It seems life has a funny way of keeping me humble and out of my comfort zone, but I honestly wouldn't trade any of the highs or the lows. I know that God has a plan a purpose that is far greater than anything I can dream up for myself. I love knowing that He has chosen my family to do His work!
