Yesterday I got a phone call from a number I didn't recoginize, so I put on my happy voice and answered it. It was a lady whom I barely know asking me to watch her infant son for two hours the next day while her normal sitter makes arrangements for a funeral for her mother. I hesitantly said yes, just knowing that I had a lot to do, but wanting to help her out. Well, it wasn't until early this morning that I realized the significance of this.
Nine years ago, at the same time that this little boy would be dropped off is the time that Chloe saw Jesus. I would be holding a live, breathing baby, almost the same age as my sweet baby on the day that is the worst for me of the year. At first, I will be honest, I panicked. I spent some time pleading with the Lord to not let anything happen to this baby, on this day, during my watch. Then, I took a step back and recognized it for what I believe it is. Another way to bring healing. God has placed in my life all the obstacles that I had to overcome to get to a place where Chloe's death didn't separate me from Him; where I was healed from that loss. Watching a baby near the same age on the day that my own died is HUGE. And I am thankful. Thankful that my Father cares enough to continually put me into places and situations that hurt but that make me whole in Him. Thankful that I didn't say no to watching Emory. Thankful that I had Chloe for the time I did. Thankful that He has already planned out everything in my life according to His purpose. Thankful that He chose me.
6 comments:
Thinking of you today.
God is good. I went to bed thinking about Chloe, and how today would be hard on you. On all of us who love and miss her. He is in control, and He loves you, and so do I.
Love you and thinking about your whole family today. We will never forget the impact she made on us. I was honored to have been able to spend a lot of time with yall while she was here.
His love for us astounds me. His timing. His grace.
Thinking of you all today.
It pains me to just read your feelings every year... Can't begin to imagine the pain you feel. You are an amazing woman of God!!
I always think about you around this time EVERY year, Steph. I still remember the day I got the call and found out. I seriously can't imagine. I've always said you are WAY stronger of a woman than I will EVER be. I can just pray that I would handle it as well as you did...and still are. And now you have FOUR beautiful girls. :)
Just know that I still think about you and Cam....and I LOVE seein pictures of y'all and the girls. They're gettin so big.
Y'all still in the Dallas area...or no??
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