A year ago, I received an unexpected gift from my sister in love Shanna (my brother's wife). It was a dvd of all the video that was taken of Chloe, my first baby. It has been in the desk for the last year. I tried to watch it once, but when I heard her cry, I came unglued and quickly turned it off. I decided to try again tonight. It hurt SO bad. I have 16 minutes of her life. It was such a sweet 16 minutes though! I don't think I have wanted to hold a baby so badly in all my life. I wanted to take her out of the screen and hug her and never let her go and make her be here. I just. wanted.
She had curly hair. That looked reddish. Her smile was precious. She looked unlike any of my other daughters, which I found to be very odd. I remembered things, details, about her that I had forgotten in the last almost ten years. Her giggle and cry was so distinctive that I would know it anywhere. I badly needed someone to tell me to get a new hairstyle and some new clothes. My daughter was a gift. I wish wish wish that I would have gotten to keep that gift longer, but I would do it again. I would lose her again just to have her. I love her with all of me, and I cannot wait to see her again!!
2 comments:
With tear filled eyes, I still don't know what to say.....except that you are amazing....I don't know how you do it.....everyday....
How special you have her on video.
This is from Just B, and it is so very sweet, but I accidentally hit delete instead of publish on my phone, so I am posting what she wrote.
Oh Stephanie! What a lovely gift. I can't even imagine how difficult and bittersweet it is to see and hear her.
Isn't it even more beautiful that we serve such a mighty God? He sent His ONLY son so that we could live eternally. And in that eternity, you will forever be with Miss Chloe.
God, even in heartbreak and sorrow, is so good to us.
Love you my friend.
Post a Comment