Thursday

Here it is Thursday, the second week of school almost complete. It is a whole different ballgame with 4 of the 5 of us having school. Well, I say 4 lightly. Faith comes and goes. And usually when she comes, Ellie does too. So, somedays all five of us have work, and others just three of us. I did not expect to be so obsessive with the online blackboard for my college work however. I feel like I am on there all the time or else I will miss something! I am thinking that online classes are not for obsessive people. Not that I am admitting to be obsessive. I'm just saying.

God is showing us new things in this chapter of our life. Things that, honestly, I don't want to learn. He is teaching us how to rely completely on Him. I thought I knew how to do that. I really did. But, when He takes all your income away, all the "things" that bring you comfort and happiness besides Him (being near my Mama, shopping, free time, dates, etc.), doesn't give you the "family" you so desire from church, and anything else you can imagine, life takes on a new level of hard. Right now my big struggle is money. I have thought we went through times of scarcity, but it was nothing compared to this. Nothing. Now, when the dates comes closer together, He must provide miraculously to meet those dates. Usually we have a paycheck to do that...now we have God. We have to have faith that He will provide. Not that we will. It kind of feels like He won't pour any blessings on us at times, but then I have to step back and really open my eyes to see how Big He has shown Himself to be. For example. I went to our homeschool and registered. My grand total came to *gasp* $93. I was torn. Do I continue through the line and pay, or tuck my tail and go home because I can't pay it? I went through the line. When I got home and checked the mail, there was a love offering check in the mail for $100. God provided!! Then, the next day, we were at church registering for Awanas. I was adding up my totals and it was $124. I grabbed my papers and went to Camerons office and started to cry. HOW do I NOT do awanas?? I have to go to church. I am a leader for the Sparks! I just looked at him and said, "what do I do?" I went and I wrote out a check. The next morning I got a call from the director (shhh...this is a secret) saying that she was just not okay when she my check. It was just too much for me to have to pay. She said to take $40 off the total. I sighed in relief, thinking $84 is better than $124. But wait. It gets better. My father in law called and needed an empty house cleaned. It paid $100. My mom was coming in and she was going to help. She refused to take more than $20 (her gas money). That left me with $80. The amount I needed to cover Awanas. So, while I don't like this new lesson that we are being taught, I LOVE seeing how much my Daddy loves me. He gives us the desires of our hearts. What an awesome God we serve!