Saturday, May 10, 2008
I wish...
"I wish Ellie was in Heaven." As my heart hit the floor, I looked up from painting and said (rather calmly I thought), '"what?". Faith repeated herself and just looked at me. What in the world do you say to that? I tried to explain to her that if Ellie was in Heaven that we wouldn't see her anymore...so Faith changed her mind and said that she wishes Chloe wasn't in Heaven. Now that is better! Then Gracie started. Gracie talks about Chloe ALL the time. She asked me if I was excited that Chloe would be 7 soon. I bit her head off. I did. I admit it. I didn't mean to, but I just went off. I told her that NO, I am not excited. I don't want her to be 7 without us. I don't want her to have a birthday if we aren't there. It makes me sad. It makes me cry, and I don't want to talk about it anymore. So, she sat there and looked at me. Then she calmly turned to her sister and said, "Chloe is a year older than me". WHAT?!! Did she not get all that? Is she just disrespecting me? Probably not. She is 5. I should expect it. But still. Harumph. Imagine me pouting with my arms crossed and my mouth turned down. So then the conversation was over. I am sure we will have it again. Probably soon...
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2 comments:
Stephanie, I just want to wish you a happy Mothers Day and tell you my heart hurts for you and please know you are in my prayers.
I'm sure Gracie didn't mean anything by what she said. I think it's really neat how she talks about Chloe as much as she does. Afterall, she is her sister.
Steph, I can not say that I know how you feel. But I really don't think it's gonna get any easier in the years to come. She was your first baby and a beautiful one at that. You and Cam are always in our prayers, Steph!!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! You definately deserve the best!!
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