well...

I am really not sure that this an appropriate place to post this. So if it disappears, I changed my mind. I have been feeling, well, abandoned. I just can't think of a better word. Things as we know them have changed. From church to job to everything. And I know that the changes are hard on others besides just us. I know that! However, I have this very sad feeling that we are alone. Our friends have their own lives and the common parts have been removed, so it is much harder than I ever imagined it would be to keep up with the relationships. I didn't think for a minute that family things would be strained, but they feel that way. On all sides it seems. That includes us. I just don't know what to do about it all. The easy thing would be to chuck it all out the window and say forget it and worry about only what is best for me. But I don't want to do that. I want it to be back to "normal". I want to focus on God and where He is taking us, and I don't want to feel bad about talking about it. Or feel that some don't approve. Or have people think we are stupid. I just want to go to that place where I worship my Father the best. Where I don't have to work so hard to "make people like me". Maybe it is selfish of me. I just really don't know. Honestly though, for the first time in ages it seems, I feel like we are exactly in the place where God wants us. I am witnessing how He is taking what could be overwhelming circumstances and making them exciting. I have the warm fuzzy feeling of, I don't know, a big fat hug from my Father. And at the same time when all my insides feel so right, my relationships feel so wrong. So what is there to do but pray? I am. A lot. And He is changing me and my perspectives. Some things just aren't so important anymore. And other things are way more so. So this is the journey I am on at the present my friends. I will try to be open and honest as we travel the road we are on...

Speaking of honesty. Church was great this morning. The spirit was sweet, the people were beyond friendly. We went to lunch with half the congregation it seemed. Cameron led worship and did a fantastic job. It was real and honest and just really good. He also led the youth group's lesson this morning. That went very well too. I had to share my testimony. Cried a bit. The kids seem really eager and fun. My girls did wonderful in their classes. Really it was all really good. And to top all that off, my friend Michael came to church! I was so pleasantly surprised! Poor him though...because Cam was leading, it was me, him, and Gracie sitting in the pew and more than a few thought we were married...hehehehe The church will call a special business meeting 2 weeks from now to vote on whether they feel God wants Cameron to fill those positions of music minister and youth pastor. I truly feel like God wants us to serve at this church. So now it is a waiting game. We shall see!